2015 Angeles City – Helen Kim

Newfound Authority

Though I have been Christian all my life, I didn’t really know how to pray. By that, I mean pray knowing that I have authority as a co-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). Before missions, in fact, all my life, I used to pray much like a child. My prayers would often sound like this: “Father God, please protect our team. Please do this and please do that.” There’s nothing wrong with this prayer, but it was more so where my heart was at. Whenever I prayed, it felt like I was begging for God’s permission, or asking Him to do me a favour. I didn’t have “faith” to move mountains, let alone, pray aloud.

You see, I never saw myself as a leader or as a person of authority, and this mindset seeped into my prayers. When I prayed, I lacked confidence, I felt inferior and had many doubts. I sounded lost and at times got too caught up on searching for words instead of speaking to the Lord. I was lacking the “faith” aspect of praying. I knew there was a time and place to pray quietly. I also knew how powerful it was when people prayed aloud and passionately. But the lie that held me back was that it’s more comfortable when I pray alone or softly because no one can hear me or judge me. This was one of many lies that broke off during missions.

On missions, my prayer language started to change. Not because I suddenly gained confidence or learned fancy new words. But rather it was because God showed me that He already established me in a place of authority, and all I had to do was believe it, claim it and speak it out. Knowing my identity not just as a son, but as a firstborn son with authority, entrusted with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13), I began to pray believing I had access to God’s truth and His treasures. As a co-heir of Christ, I realised that I had the right and responsibility to share what I knew and to claim what I had complete access to. That’s when my prayers became more raw and powerful.

When our team was praying for leaders in Angeles City, it would have been natural for me to think, “I can’t pray for these elders, I’m younger than them, they can’t get blessed through me. I’ll just wait for our Team leader Eunice or Pastor Paul.” However, before I knew it, I was praying in the Spirit, speaking in tongues, and interceding. Even after that, at every prayer meeting, revival service, or altar call ministry time, people would find me crying because I was becoming so sensitive to the Spirit. I was moved and touched by God’s heart for His children and how He saw them. I couldn’t help but pray out loud, because my heart was so aligned and in sync with His.

Now when I pray there’s no more striving because I know and believe: it’s not my words, but His words- His truth. All I have to do is be available for Him to speak through me. It was always as simple as that, but God had to take me to the Philippines to teach me. I thank God for the breakthrough in my prayer walk and prayer life. My identity and relationship with God has transitioned from being a young child relating to her Father, to a bold partner in Christ. I need to constantly remind myself of this truth, but Praise the Lord, He uses the weak and those who feel inadequate to show how gracious and powerful He is. I believe that if God can and chooses to use me, He can use you to break off lies, speak truth, and declare freedom, and healing over people’s lives as well. You may not feel ready, but God is more than ready.

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