2016 Nepal – Suzy Shin

True Love

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. – Colossians 3:12-15

Love was the key word for me on this missions trip. From the beginning I was very humbled. Giving out support letters, fasting, and feeling inadequate for everything. All these different areas made me feel weak and desperate to pray. I prayed to God, crying and asking Him to teach me what His love really means. I felt like my love for God was so fragile and in a way fake because my life was so filled with me and not with God.

When I arrived in Nepal I was even more desperate for the Lord because I knew I could not love these people out of my own will. I still remember the first altar call when I had to pray. I was struggling with so much shame. I thought to myself, out of all people how could I be up at the altar praying? I felt like just a selfish screw up. I had this huge guilt in my heart and I could not forgive myself for not measuring up. On the second day of ministry as I was praying, God told me to forgive myself because He was proud of me even though I had messed up in the past. As each day went by and the more I prayed for people, I received a deeper understanding of His love for me. I was so humbled and in awe. How could He love me so unconditionally and want to use me for His ministry? I felt His grace cover me from head to toe.

Every day as the team was ministering I would cry because I felt God’s heart for His children in Nepal. The hopelessness, persecution, unforgiveness, and orphaned spirit was captivating a lot of the Nepalese people. At every altar call I wanted God to powerfully encounter them. So I prayed to God that I surrender all of me so He could use me to love on them and that my prayers will come from His heart. At that moment I got the answer to my prayers. To know and understand God’s love, I have to love His people. As a Christian, my ultimate calling is to serve and to love. Eureka! For a very selfish person like myself to realize this and surrender everything is not easy. But God spoke very clearly to me.

Wherever my feet stands is where my ministry is. Before this trip I was broken by my own ambitions and greed, but now I am filled with love and am at peace. I have a clearer vision of my calling and how to walk as a Christian. God does not want me to use my youth being caught up in just building my own career, but He wants me to work for His kingdom wherever He has placed me. I am no longer a slave of the world but am victorious in God. He loves me and therefore I can love.

I hope you will continue to pray for Nepal. Please pray for hope in the name of Jesus over the nation and for more Christians to rise up. Proclaim protection over the Christians, and that more missionaries will go to Nepal to minister. Our local contact, Uncle BP, is praying for strong believers to come to Nepal to minister to the youth and church leaders. Please continue to pray that God’s kingdom in Nepal only continue to increase for His glory.