2016 Nepal – Marie Suazo

Faith as Small as a Mustard Seed

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. – Hebrews 11:1

Our team was going to a nation that had experienced a tragic earthquake within the past year. It had me wondering what God was going to do through our humble little team. What could we possibly offer after such a devastating event? Some people could have lost their homes, and even their loved ones. In the midst of this, I found myself asking whether the power of the Gospel was really worth it. But in the midst of my doubting heart I heard God whisper one word: faith.

As this trip was my first time serving as a videographer, I had just as much doubt in myself as I had about our team leaving an impact on Nepal. I personally lacked experience and honestly had no idea why I was chosen for the role. As each day passed, I had to force myself to do what I had to. I remembered feeling like it was a chore, and carrying around the camera reflected the burden that I was carrying in my heart. I was so used to praying for people up at the altar, or even preaching to a congregation. How in the world was I supposed to manifest God’s love to people when I wasn’t doing any of that? Yet again I heard Him whisper: faith.

By the third day of ministry I couldn’t take it anymore. I just wanted to quit at that moment. I didn’t feel like what I was doing was “good enough” or even making an impact on anyone. I told God that if I was only experienced, I could do so much better. But I remembered that as we drove through the mountainous roads to Hetauda, a city 8 hours south of Kathmandu, I saw beautiful fields of yellow flowers. Uncle BP, our native ministry contact, had told me that those were mustard plants, the same plants that produce mustard seeds. “Faith,” God whispered to me once again. In Matthew it says that “For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” At that moment God asked, “Did you really come all the way here to strive? Do you not know that as my daughter you can do anything?” As tears fell down my face I began to repent. I had to repent for thinking that I could do things out of my own strength. The Lord was reminding me that it’s not the end product that pleases Him, but rather the steps of faith that I take to obey Him.

From that moment on I stepped out in faith and believed that God had called me to be the videographer on this trip. I didn’t have to strive, but from a place of rest I knew that He was already pleased with me. Our team went to several churches declaring hope in the hearts of the Nepalese people and praying for physical healing for those who needed it. If there was an old man with back pain, a grandma who had blurry vision, or even a young child with a little cut on his finger, you bet I was there ready to hit the record button. It came with such an ease that I could feel Holy Spirit lead me in different places in the church at key times and was even able to record the healings as they were literally being released!

I remember in one particular revival service Pastor Caleb (our team preacher) gave a message on hope and how he believes the Nepalese youth are the hope of the nation. He wanted to see them rise up and take their place. Thus we prayed for the Holy Spirit to come upon the youth and so many of them were being touched by the power of God. Some wept, others fell under the weight of His glory. Right after praying for the youth, Pastor Caleb asked people who were experiencing physical pain to stand up. My heart leapt with excitement at the opportunity to video record healings that would take place. Thinking it was just a normal alter call where the team would pray for the sick, I was so surprised when Pastor Caleb told the youth to pray for the sick instead. He told the youth that they needed to have faith that the same Holy Spirit that was inside of this foreign team was also inside of them. As I saw these young people lay hands on the sick across the room I heard God speak to me once more, “faith that moves mountains.” At that moment I felt the weight of His love for Nepal. It was the same weight I would feel when I would lay hands on people and pray for them. It was the same love. God loved seeing His people step out in faith. He loved seeing the youth of this nation rise up despite the national tragedies and He was so pleased.

At the end of the day it’s not about what our team did or didn’t do. It wasn’t about how perfectly I could capture each shot, and it wasn’t about how many salvations, healings, or manifestations that we saw in the natural. This trip was all about faith. That’s what moved God’s heart- this faith as small as a mustard seeds that had the power to move mountains.