2015 Jakarta – Sharon So

God’s Needs for the Kingdom

Judges 6:12 as my theme verse – the one where God calls Gideon.

And the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, “The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor (chayil).

This was my first mission trip with New Philadelphia Church, and all I can say is God truly exceeded my expectations. Not only did God show me that He truly equips those whom He calls, but He has shown me that God’s purposes for me are truly bigger than I can ever imagine.

I had signed up for missions initially because of amazing testimonies that have come out of New Philly’s missions trips. I wanted to see physical healing, like the blind seeing, the lame walking, and the demon possessed being set free. As I started preparing for the trip, my heart became expectant for how powerfully God was going to move in the mission field. I wasn’t sure at the time what this would look like, but God gave me peace and full assurance that this mission trip was going to be powerful.

I cannot say I was free from anxiety though. I felt very unprepared. I kept telling myself I should’ve prayed harder for Jakarta. I should have spent more time trying to memorize the body worship. Plus, I felt uneasy about sharing my testimony for the first time. Because I had never really shared my testimony before, I didn’t know how to articulate how God had transformed me. And praying for people during the altar call? Just thinking about it gave me butterflies because I didn’t know if I was “spiritual” enough for me to discern what to pray about.

But as soon as we got to Jakarta, I realized that I had worried in vain. The first service we had was at IKAT Seminary, and after preaching a powerful word on how God uses people even in their failures and weaknesses, our team preacher John Park led an altar call where 30 people responded. My heart started pounding the moment John called on the team to start praying for the students at the altar. But there was no time for me to be reluctant. I started laying hands on the students and prayed in the Spirit, and to my surprise, God started giving me words. Words like “strength,” “faith,” “darkness into light,” and “precious in God’s sight” were highlighted for me when praying for different students. Many of them started crying as they received inner healing, and I was amazed at how God could use someone like me to bless the students He loved.

But the obvious highlight of my trip was sharing my testimony. I had a chance to share at IKAT Seminary, and I initially struggled a lot with what to share and how much to share. But I ended up sharing about how I had an orphan spirit rooted in this lie that I was like pharaoh- that God had hardened my heart on purpose, and that I had no chance at redemption. But what set me free from this orphan spirit was the truth that God calls me as Moses. When I stood at the pulpit in front of 90 students, I sensed God give me peace and reassurance that this was a word that needed to go out. And it felt so good to say “I am Moses, not pharaoh” on the pulpit, and on my way down, I almost heard God say “Thank you for sharing my story,” and affirming me that it was not my story, but His.

I loved ministering in Jakarta because every time we sought Him, God showed up powerfully. I could sense that I was walking in a greater level of authority and anointing, and I was able to tangibly feel the heart of God for the nation of Indonesia, and hope of the younger generation arising in Jakarta. This was truly a powerful testament to how God doesn’t call the equipped but equips the called.

And I thought that was how my trip would end, but God had more in store for me. At the very last church we went to on the last day, our team preacher John spoke about going deeper with God, and how God leads us into the waters a thousand cubit feet at a time. Then he led an altar call for those who wanted to commit their lives fully to God and go all in, inviting even the team members to respond. I instantly felt this unspeakable tension within my heart as he led the altar call, and I started crying—to a point where I was wailing more than crying. God was exposing and confronting the fear I had in my heart about trusting Him completely with my future, with my career, and with my calling. I struggled, but I stood up to respond because I knew that at the bottom of my heart, I wanted to fully commit, and I wanted to make a statement of faith. What was amazing was how God recognized what I did and spoke peace over me through the altar call time that followed. As the missions team, we started to pray for others who responded to the altar call, and I started praying for this one girl. The minute I laid my hands on her, I knew that the words that I was praying over her were the same words God was speaking over me. God thanked her for responding. God told her He delighted in her. I declared courage and for strengthening of the mind for her, and I knew that was exactly what I needed as well. I was shouting the words at the top of my lungs because of the sudden freedom I felt, and that’s when I knew that on the last day of missions, the trip was ending, but it was only the beginning for me.

After coming to Korea and taking the time to reflect on the trip, I realize that God was bringing me to a new level of spiritual maturity and boldness- not just so I could come back to Korea and talk about what an amazing trip this was, but because He wanted and needed me to rise up and step into His will for my life. The Lord has called me to fulfill His kingdom purposes. I might be satisfied with the current level of power and authority God has given me, but God isn’t. The temptation is to look back at how God used me to minister in Jakarta and think of that as my ceiling. But God is telling me to enlarge my vision, and to increase the size of my cup, because I haven’t seen nothing yet.

God sees needs differently from us. He sees them in relation to the kingdom of God, while we see them based on our own needs and desires. Through this trip to Jakarta, God helped me understand that He truly desires to give me so much more because the needs for His kingdom are that much greater. This trip taught me how to see things through God’s perspective. I learned how to share God’s heart for Jakarta, how to see myself as God sees me- a powerful leader like Moses- and how to have a kingdom perspective for my future. And I can say, from the bottom of my heart, that my only desire is to be in God’s presence and to be even a small part of the beautiful story that He is writing. Just as Moses refused to go into the Promised Land without the presence of God going with Him, what matters is not that I reach my goal, but that I do it with God, the one that calls us simply out of His love and grace.

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